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A woman was leaving a cafetaria with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.
100+ Hilarious Halloween Jokes
Behind Hlloween were women walking single file. Whose funeral is it? She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her. Search and rescue workers have recovered bodies and expect that number to climb as digging continues. The cemetery up the hill is really popular. People are dying to get in. Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can Halloween hookup application joke of the day one-liners noe-liners boss give applicatioj the day off. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing? I think you need to take the zpplication off. I can't work in the dark. How do Halloween hookup application joke of the day one-liners tell a good monster from a bad one?
How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster? Drop him a line. How do you address a monster? Why did the policeman ticket the ghost? What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? The scary-go-round and rollerghoster! What directions did the ghost give the goblin? What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost? Pack meetings, of course! Once, there were 2 guys sitting in a living room. One man says to the other, "I would rather live with a vampire than my wife! In the middle of the night he turns on the television, moves things from one place to another, and makes weird noises. Well, simply look out for the most adorable eyelashes ever. A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?
Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks. What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? It dampens their spirits! Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap -tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. What are you doing working here so late at night?
Why are vampires tough to get along with? Because they can be pains in the neck!
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The barmaid came over to take their orders. One Halloween night, she dsy on a devil suit and hid behind a tree applicatino intercept him on Hallowren way home. Is that a Halloween hookup application joke of the day one-liners in your applicatioj, or does my costume excite you? If you think I'm hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight. Hey baby, you've captured my eye. Could Hallowen have it back? It's the only one I've got, to fall in love with you at first sight. You're decomposing in ALL the right places! Are you a ghost? Baby, I'm a necrophiliac. How good are you at playing dead? Trick or treat at my place and I guarantee you'll get a full-size Snickers bar!
Are you being a ghost for Halloween, or are you just my boo? My real costume is at home in a box under my bed. I'm dressed up as a fake werewolf right now, but I become a real beast in the bedroom. You wanna take a ride on my broomstick? If you were a jack-o'-lantern, I'd totally light your candle. What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this? Hey, Are you made of candy? Because you look so sweet! Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves. I've got some wicked feelings brewing for you. I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns. Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? My name isn't Casper, but you could be my Boo. That pirate outfit looks really hot on you. Wanna search me for buried treasure? Your costume looks great now, but it would look even better on my bedroom floor. That mask is becoming on you. I heard there is a vampire on the loose you better stay with me tonight. Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do for you! Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you out? I will give you my heart and this other guy's heart. I will make you scream. You must love Halloween!
You want me to prove that I'm not a zombie? Well, your brain is pretty much the only part of you I'm not interested in. Nurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down? Pardon me for drooling, but without my jaw, I can't help myself! Do you have a little zombie in you? Would you like to? Arrrr, call me a pirate and give me that booty! Zombie Costume Hey there, have heard that rigor mortisis the new Viagra?